Pride & Humility

So, it's almost midnight and of course, like normal people, I was snuggly warm in my bed mindlessly scrolling through Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, etc. in the hopes of putting myself to sleep but God apparently had other ideas... I was quickly flooded with thoughts and (being the verbal processor I am), needed to talk it out, hence the blog.

For a class this past semester we were required to post bi weekly blog posts and I began to love the process of just sharing what was on my heart that week or what God was showing me through the class that I was taking (The Bible as Literature).  Near the end of the semester, one of my staff workers for the Christian fellowship I am a part of at my college challenged me to journal or blog as a way to get my emotions out & process them (because anyone who knows me knows I am quite emotional!).  So, here I sit typing....

God has really been working on my heart lately and showing me areas of growth and more areas that need growth (some days it can be quite overwhelming!).  He has continually been working on my pride and showing me just how prideful I am when it comes to various aspects of my life.  He's been showing me that everything I have comes from Him and that honestly, I have nothing to be proud of... on my own I am but a sinner who continually runs away from the light He gives.  However, through His grace, and His grace alone, I have been brought into fellowship with Him and can boast in the kingdom of God and all that He does.  For those who know me well, or even know me at all, you know I LOVE children.  I take whatever opportunity I can to spend time with children and care for them, love them, and point them in the direction of The Lord.  These little ones have been one of the most humbling experiences of my life.  Before coming to Christ, I would boast in the number of families I could babysit for, how well I had the children 'trained', or what new fun and exciting activity I did with the kids that left the parents speechless.  I'm not saying that in and of themselves these are bad things but it was the motives behind them that fueled me.  I never did anything for the best interest of the children, I did what would get me the most attention, money, or praise.  I was consumed with pride.  Although I loved each child I cared for as if they were my own, pride & selfish motives always drove my actions.  Since coming to Christ, God has used the plethora of adorable little munchkins I occasionally care for to humble me, show me what it's like to love someone more than yourself, and to do things that are in their best interest and not what serves me best.  It has given me such joy to put the best interest of these children above everything else and to watch them thrive.  I have seen the benefits of this shift in attitude unfold before my very eyes.  I have much more joy when I am around the children and a lot more patience.  There's a lot less yelling, a lot less disciplinary problems, and a lot more fun!  [Now, this could just be the fact that these parents are AWESOME parents and are raising their children wonderfully... who knows!]  But it's been such an enjoyable ride to see how these small, dependent, messy little children [the sinful little babes they can be!] have been used by God to humble the prideful heart that lives inside me.  It's their beautiful, unconditional, messy love that reminds me of my Heavenly Father and His love for me.  On the flip side, the incredible amount of love I have for each one of them is immeasurable.  If I love my own children half this much when [Lord-willing] I have children some day, they will be INCREDIBLY loved.  When they're having a rough day, there's lots of reminders of love & plenty of snuggles, hugs, and kisses and on the happy days, we can sing/dance/be silly and have fun!  Both create beautiful memories and I love them the same through both types of weather.  And to think how much more God loves me!  Me!  A rebellious sinner who has a tendency to run in the exact opposite direction of the cross and pursue the world instead of shining Christ's light in it like I should.  God loves me way, way more than I love these beautiful children and to think about it leaves me speechless, in awe, and warm & fuzzy inside!  Like the children's song goes, "I am so glad that Jesus loves me, Jesus loves even me!"  Although I don't think I'm someone worth loving most days, and some times it can get a little messy, I'm on such a beautiful journey with my Heavenly Father and I can't wait to see it continue to unfold before my very eyes.  

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life." --- John 3:16

In Him, 

Dani