If I'm being truthful, mine changes with the seasons. Some days it's the excitement of a weekend full of babysitting, some days it's the need to pay the bills and I have to work in a few hours. Some days it's the cute boy in the fellowship or the fact that my best friend needs my advice on something. Lately this has been exposed to me and it's been weighing heavily on my heart. I don't want these things to be the driving force behind my life. I don't want to be worshipping the cute guy, my job, the kids I babysit, my future plans, my friends, my status, etc. I want to worship Christ alone. After all, He is a jealous God and wants me fully.
"...for you shall worship no other god, for the LORD, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God..." (Exodus 34:14)A few weeks ago someone I highly respect sat down with me and said he was concerned about something I said during our last conversation. After talking with him for a bit he showed me how in everything I was saying or doing, I seemed to want to take the easy way out, do what came easily, or what would be least amount of work or stress for me as I've been contemplating career decisions post graduation. This was just the start of God pointing out idols in my life. God exposed what I was worshipping and how it was tearing me away from Him.
The idols just kept being exposed... relationships/marriage, family, friends, success, money, leading, worship team, etc. One by one God has been showing me how I've been placing my hope in everything but Him. And, if I'm being honest, it's been hard to come to grips with. But, although discipline is painful in the moment, it's super beneficial in the long run. I love how it's stated in Hebrews 12:
I have hope that even though this week has been painful and I've had to come to grips with things I don't want to, God's love shines through His discipline. He wants me to have an intimate relationship with Him, He wants to be the only one I worship, etc. and because it's God speaking, I know that it's all for my best. He has my best interest in mind so this discipline will lead to something good. A father disciplines his son because he loves him and earthly fathers are designed to reflect our Heavenly Father so His discipline is because He loves us.Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted. In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons?“My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him.For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.”It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.(Hebrews 12:3-11 ESV)
Thank you, Lord, for exposing these idols and helping me realize that my hope was elsewhere and guide me through the time ahead in getting my focus back on You and You alone. Help me to spend time just sitting in your presence... no people, no distractions, just you and I Lord.
Blessings friends,
Dani
