Blurred Screens and Closed Doors

The first tear hit my cheek and I couldn't stop them from cascading down my face.  Their saltiness stained my shirt and blurred the world in front of me.  It was like walking through life without my glasses on... I couldn't see a thing.  But, just as quickly as they started, the tears stopped and I carried on with the task at hand-- continuing to empty my grandparents' house, item by item.

I'd be lying if I said this wasn't one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life.  Placing memories one by one in a box and then into storage until there is a place for them to be used once more-- either in my future home or my brother and future sister-in-law's house.  As I pick each item up from the shelf, the memories come back.  Playing Barbies in a carousel music box, driving the trolley up and down the coffee table, snuggling under the orange down comforter or the cloud blankets, sitting on the counter to update the angel calendar, making the perfect 'pankers' or 'tricks' on the island in the kitchen, hanging the Christmas lights in the windows each Christmas and making sure Baby Jesus was in the right spot in the manger, and so much more.  This house holds memories upon memories and boxing them up just feels wrong.

More than memories, this house holds connections.  The final connection to my late grandmother who was more like a mother than a grandmother to me, the final tie keeping my grandfather home and not moving with his new wife and her family, the final connection to how I always pictured my life.  Growing up I always talked about moving into my grandparents' house with a husband and starting a family of my own, making new memories in the place that I called my second home.  But, life happened.  My grandmother passed away, my grandfather remarried, I moved a little further south, and my brother is now engaged to be married this spring.  So much has changed so quickly, I long to hold on to the past where things were simpler and much easier to understand.  Where the hardest decision was what perfect outfit I was going to wear on my first day of school and not how to handle a new crisis at work that I never imagined happening.  None of us expected life to look like it did at this stage of life, yet, it does.  Though my temptation is to spend the days begging God to answer the giant list of "why?" questions I have, I know I won't get all the answers.  I know I can't go back to the simpler days.  I know life is EXACTLY how it's supposed to be.  God has promised that He will work everything together for my good.  He is in complete control over my life and doesn't allow anything to happen that will not bring Him the greatest glory and be the best good for my life.  Even if it doesn't feel good in the moment, I need my brain to tell my heart that it is good.  I'm tempted to fear, though, that without these material things, the connections will be lost, the memories will fade, people will drift apart.  So, I find myself splurging on new 'things' in the hopes that the memories and connections made with new materials and new people will provide some relief from the tears, the pain, the hurt... 

But, it is God-shaped hole, not a materialistic hole so I cannot fill it with things.  I can only fill it with the one who perfectly mends holes and repairs broken hearts.  I need to spend this season digging deeper into my Bible and searching for promises from God, trusting each one.  People fail, things break, material possessions mean nothing...  but, the everlasting God that holds the Universe in the palm of His hands controls it all, reigns supreme, and orchestrates all for the good of His people and His everlasting glory.

Though, through it all, it never fails to amaze me how connected we can get to material things-- things that will disappear, things that we cannot take with us, things that are fragile and will break, etc.  In Matthew 6, the Bible says, "Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."  I don't want my treasure to be on earth.  I don't want to store up a collection on earth where moth and rust will destroy.  I want to live simply.  I want to live generously.  I want to lavish love on those around me, not things.

So, as we continue packing boxes, item by item, I will let the tears fall.  I will let their saltiness burn my cheeks, stain my shirt, and begin to heal my wounds.  I will praise God for the memories that this beloved house holds.  I will thank Him for the precious times spent with loved ones.  I will pray to trust Him wholeheartedly with my future, not clinging to the past.  Clinging to the past only makes turning the page on the future even harder.  I don't like not knowing what the next chapter holds.  But, I do take a lot of comfort in the fact that the One who holds the future has known what the next chapter, the next page, the next sentence will hold since the beginning of time-- before the world was created.  It's not an easy season of life, but it is for my good.  It is for HIS glory.  What else can I ask for?  The sale on the house will be finalized soon and I will not set foot in it's door again.  The door to the past is closed, the door to the future wide open with God standing at the door, hand outstretched, beckoning me in to trust His plan wholly.  My agenda book may be empty, but His is filled, waiting to unfold.

As 2017 becomes 2018, I will dig in to the Scriptures.  Ground myself and my identity in Him, His word, His truths.  I will sit in His silence and listen.  I will be still and not fill my life with busyness to hide from the pain, confusion, and emotion.  I need to process the emotions and thoughts as they come.  Here's to a new chapter, a new season of embracing change and trusting an unknown future to a known God. 

May 2018 be filled with many blessings and joy for you and your loved ones.

Warmly,

Danielle

The Journey to Teacherhood

Decisions terrify me.  I hate making any kind of decision for fear of making the wrong choice, upsetting someone, or it ending badly.  I really like it when someone else makes a decision for me and I can just follow through.  Over the summer I was faced with the biggest decision of my life to date... where will I work come the fall?  I suddenly had a ton of decisions all at once and to be honest, it was miserable.  I just wanted to hide away.  At the peak of it all I slept most of the day away, avoided people, and just binge watched Gilmore Girls in the hopes of never having to make an actual decision.  I didn't want to fill out the applications, interviews scared me, and lets not even begin to talk about the anxiety of actually having to accept a position!  But... what if I wasn't ever offered a job?  Then what?!  And the anxiety began all over again.  See, I had the potential of 3 jobs on the line:  a preschool position, a public school position, and a private, Christian school position.  My hopes and dreams rested in the public school position as it was my dream grade in my dream school!  I prayed and I hoped for this job.  I asked everyone I knew to join me in praying for this job.  I lost a lot of sleep, stressed a lot, and talked the ear off of anyone who would listen.

Sounds like an enjoyable summer, right?

Yeah.  It wasn't.

In the midst of it all it became hard to see clearly what God was telling me, what my own thoughts were telling me, and where I was confusing the two.

After weeks of prayer, tears, and many phone calls to my mom, I accepted the 5th grade position at a Christian school.  Although it wasn't an enjoyable process in the moment, I can say that I'm thankful for the experience.  Though many times I felt alone, exhausted, at my wit's end, and more... I'm not sure (given the chance) that I'd do anything differently.  Why?  God used this trial to refine my faith and teach me so many valuable lessons that I wouldn't have learned without this trial.  Like James says in his letter to the twelve tribes in the Dispersion,

"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." (James 1:2-4 ESV)

God has promised in His word that He gives us trials in order to make us more steadfast, complete, and PERFECT!  Wow.  What an amazing promise!

It's been about two months since I've made the decision to join the NCS family and I have learned so many lessons.  It's been a roller coaster ride since July but again, if given the chance, I wouldn't change it.

Here's what I've learned:

1) I'm not in control.  I know, I know.  Silly me, right?  I thought I had control over my life.  My dream job was second grade in a public school.  I'm teaching 5th grade in a private Christian school.  I promised myself I would never teach in a Christian school and honestly, during this trial I tried everything I possibly could in order to get out of this position.  But, The Lord's will prevails!  As bummed as I am to not get my 'dream job', I am thrilled to be able to be doing the Lord's will as He made it quite clear that this is where I am supposed to be as He closed all the other doors yet left this one open.

2) The value of the Body of Christ cannot be overstated.  In the midst of all the struggle, anxiety, and frustration, one thing remained secure.  My church family.  My brothers and sisters in Christ.  They were there every step of the way and supported me, encouraged me, pointed me back to Jesus, and prayed with and for me with each twist and turn thrown my way.  We weren't made to do this life alone.  God has made us for community and to help each other carry the heavy burdens of life.

3) God truly has the best in store for us.  Romans 8:28 states: "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose."  This was a verse that I would often counsel others with but if I'm being honest, I didn't always see as truth for my life.  I often struggled with seeing the good come out of the bad.  However, this trial brought light to this verse and showed me God's goodness in the midst of the train wreck I called my summer.  As I have settled into my new job I have been blessed with the world's greatest co-workers, a support system that I never imagined possible, new friends, and a mentor that has guided me, rebuked me, and challenged me in ways that I wouldn't have gotten without this new position.  The new job has allowed me to deepen my faith, be filled with teaching from amazing individuals, teach from the Bible and my curriculum simultaneously, and more.  When I think about the other jobs that would've been opportunities for me, I wouldn't have had any of these opportunities if God had given me either of those jobs.  He truly works all things together for the good of those that love Him.  He knows what He's doing.

4) I am needy.  I have always prided myself on never needing help, never asking questions, and never letting people know that I don't know something.  I have always put on the persona that I have my act completely together and that, if I'm being honest, is exhausting.  When I started this new job, I was given a little instruction on curriculum, teaching methods, and how the school ran, but most of it was left unsaid.  I have been in public school since first grade and switching gears to teaching in a private, Christian school was quite the culture shock.  I had suddenly found myself with a lot of questions and not wanting to ask them but as I thought about it more, I realized two things.  One, not asking questions resulted in not getting answers and two, not getting answers was at the detriment of both my students and me.  What good was it doing me to not ask questions?  Exactly.  It wasn't doing any good.  So, much to my dismay, I swallowed my pride and began asking questions.  A lot of questions.  If I can be honest, it was truly freeing to admit that I didn't know what I was doing and that I needed help.  It allowed me the freedom to learn, grow, and adjust to the new environment, culture, and routine.  No one expected me to have my act together, it was a lie I was telling myself.  In fact, they expected me to have questions and inquire.  As I began asking questions to a co-worker, trust was built, and a friendship formed.  If I hadn't been humbled and realized my neediness, I doubt this friendship would've formed and been as precious to me as it is.  Even more than that though, in the midst of my pride, I lost fact of how much I need Jesus.  I can't do this on my own.  I cannot even take another breath unless He has ordained it for me.  The days of my life are numbered and He has prepared good works for me in which to walk.  I am needy and I praise the Lord for reminding me just how much I need my Savior.  It's still a struggle for me to ask questions and feel like I'm bothering those around me with my dependency but I'm thankful that the Lord has begun this good work in me and that He's promised to bring it to the day of completion in Christ Jesus.

5) Children are wonderful gifts to be treasured, but they are sinful.  I've been around kids a long time.  I've had my fair share of temper tantrums, melt downs, and all the other joys that come with children.  However, it can be so easy to look at them and forget that they are affected by the fall of man just as I am.  Children are not perfect.  They are not angelic.  They seek to run their lives and be the kings/queens of their own worlds but they're not.  They are selfish, needy, deceitful, etc. and I'm not doing them (or myself) any favors by pretending otherwise.  The Lord has reminded me daily to be praying for my students, teaching them from the Scriptures, and pointing them back to Jesus.  They need to be reminded of their sinfulness as much as I do and I praise God that He has put me in a position where I can do just that.

6)  I enjoy comfort.  When I think back to the reasons I wanted the public school job more than the others, none of them were actually "good reasons".  The main reason I wanted to teach there was because I knew the teachers, the kids, and the school environment.  It was the same grade, same school, same teachers, etc.  Notice a pattern?  Yeah.  It was a safety zone.  The thought of moving into uncharted territory terrified me.  However, as a Christian, I'm not called to comfort.  This earth is not my forever home, heaven is.  When we are placed in situations where we are uncomfortable, we are forced to rely on the Lord more for strength, wisdom, grace, etc.  If we are comfortable, it becomes much easier to rely on ourselves to make it through each day.  By accepting a job in a new area, in a school culture that I knew nothing about, and with a grade level that I had no experience with, I needed to rely more on the Lord than myself and what a humbling experience that has been!  If I had been given the job at the public school, it would've been much easier to rely on my own works and become puffed up and prideful.  As hard as it is to be outside of my comfort zone on a daily basis, I'm thankful for how it has forced me to rely on the Lord for strength, wisdom, and grace!


This, my friends, is just the tip of the iceberg of things that the Lord has taught me in the past few months.  It has been a roller coaster ride filled with trials, anxiety, sleepless nights, laughter, hugs, new friends, and many nights of crying.  However, it has been one of the greatest blessings of my life.  I cannot imagine working anywhere else and I cannot imagine my life now without the people I now call co-workers.  I love the fact that I can teach a science lesson about how God has created goldenrod in a unique way.  I love teaching the fact that Columbus felt called by God to convert the people of the West Indies to Christianity (didn't learn that in public school, did ya?).  I love the fact that I can sing Scripture to my students and memorize passages with them week after week.  I am truly blessed to work where I am and have been given the trials and joys that have come my way.  I'm sure the next 9 months will hold many more lessons and although I'm sure they'll be hard to learn, I praise God for how He is refining me and using me to further His work.

"Praise God from whom all blessings flow,
Praise Him all creatures here below,
Praise Him above ye heavenly hosts,
Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.
Amen."

Blessings,

Danielle

All Things New

I just graduated college last week!  To many, this would be a primarily joyous occasion but to me, it came with a lot of sadness.  To me, graduation primarily meant the end of my student teaching experience.  Over the past school year I had gotten the chance to spend a great deal of time with 22 second graders and it was, by far, one of the greatest experiences of my life.  I not only got the chance to teach the children, I got the ability to know them in a way that I never expected.  See, what many people didn't see about my students was their life outside the classroom.  They didn't see that one of them had a mom who had to work many long hours a day and was never home, they didn't the families who had to make hard decisions to provide for their kids, they didn't see the one who almost lost a mom due to an awful car accident, they didn't see their desire simply for love... they didn't see that 65% of the students in the school qualified for free or reduced lunch and the majority of the school was living well below the poverty line.  They simply didn't see and honestly, they probably didn't care.  They didn't see the brokenness of the lives of my students and the world they were born into and if they were exposed to it, they were shocked and appalled at the lives these children were living.

But, if we look at it with a biblical lens, we shouldn't be surprised!  In order to see what went wrong, we first need to look at what God intended.  If we look at the account of God creating the world in Genesis 1, we see how the world was meant to be.  In fact, we see in Genesis 1:31, 

And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good. (ESV)

Do you see that?  Very good.  What I was seeing in my students doesn't look like very good!  What then happened??  Let's take a look at Genesis 3.

Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the LORD God had made.
He said to the woman, “Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden’?” And the woman said to the serpent, “We may eat of the fruit of the trees in the garden, but God said, ‘You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree that is in the midst of the garden, neither shall you touch it, lest you die.’” But the serpent said to the woman, “You will not surely die. For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate. Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked. And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths.  And they heard the sound of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God among the trees of the garden. But the LORD God called to the man and said to him, “Where are you?” And he said, “I heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked, and I hid myself.” He said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten of the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?” The man said, “The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit of the tree, and I ate.” Then the LORD God said to the woman, “What is this that you have done?” The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”
(Genesis 3:8-13)

Well... this changes things, now doesn't it?  It was in this moment that everything began to unravel.  The world was now cursed because of disobedience to God.  There was now sickness, death, anger, guilt, shame, pain, and more.  All because of one piece of fruit and Satan's deceptive lies.  So, we shouldn't be surprised by the brokenness in the world around us.  Honestly, we should expect it.  But if I'm being honest, it often catches me by surprise!  I was often taken aback by my students' brokenness, the pain/suffering of this world, sickness, and the other pains that are a result of the fall and it left me feeling hopeless, burdened, and helpless.  It left me in a constant state of sorrow and it wasn't until this past week that the sorrow I felt began to be lifted and I was shown hope.  I spent the past week at a conference hosted by DiscipleMakers (a college ministry) with the theme "All Things New".  How fitting, right?  It was.  The perspective I was given in regards to the brokenness of the world was amazing.  I felt like there was hope!  God sent His son to earth to become fully human, yet fully God.  Jesus lived a perfect life yet died the death we deserve by being publicly shamed and left to suffocate & bleed to death on a wooden cross.  He defeated death when He rose from the dead 3 days after His death and then ascended into heaven to be seated in heaven with His Heavenly Father once more!

...talk about hope!  Revelation 5:5 says,

And one of the elders said to me, “Weep no more; behold, the Lion of the tribe of Judah, the Root of David, has conquered, so that he can open the scroll and its seven seals.”

Weep. No. More.

There is so much comfort in those words because of the words that come after it!  "...behold, the Lion of the tribe of Judah, the Root of David, has conquered..."

Because Jesus has conquered death, weep no more.  I found so much comfort in these words!  But even more than these words, I can take hope in the fact that God has promised to make ALL things new!

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”
And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” Also he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.” (Revelation 21:1-5)

He is making all things new.  Not me, God.  He is making Creation new.  The human race.  The grieving mother that just lost a child.  The child who's parent abandoned them.  My friends that lost their kitchen two weeks ago to a house fire.  Even the little eight year olds in my classroom.  ALL things.  I don't know about you, dear friends but I long for that day!

May this hope and promise propel me to become something more than myself and share this hope that Christianity brings to those around me!  May this hope also relieve the burden of sadness felt in my classroom knowing that although I may not be able to do something to help them, that God has promised to make them new!

"Come, for creation groans,
Impatient of Thy stay,
Worn out with these long years of ill
These ages of delay"

Red Mountian Music- All Things New
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ukej-X-ssIo

Love and blessings,

Danielle

Loving the Mess Beneath the Surface

Have you ever been in a conversation with someone and wondered why they were acting the way they were?  Or maybe you have a friend who always does one behavior and you're not sure why?  Have you ever thought about why people do what they do?

It's something I really enjoy doing.  I love looking at a person as a puzzle and asking myself questions like "Why are they doing that?" or "What makes them tick?".  It becomes a game for me to see if I can uncover the roots of why someone believes a certain thing to be true or why someone acts a certain way.  I'm currently student teaching and my classroom is full of the cutest 7-8 year olds....most days.  There are the days though when one of them will break down in tears or throw a colored pencil across the room or put their head down and refuse to work.  Why?  Wouldn't you think that'd be the common question to ask?  Well... much to my chagrin, it doesn't seem to be the common response.  Whether we are in a school district, in the workplace, or in our own family unit, there's always more than what meets the eye to everyone and often times we simply don't care.

People are complex.  There are things we do that we aren't even sure why we do them.  Why do you click your pencil 3 times before you use it?  Why don't you wear a navy blue sweater with black dress pants?  Why is it every time your neighbor says hi, you run away?  Why do you push friends away?  Why are you scared of commitment?  ...the list is endless.

Proverbs 20:5 says: "The purpose in a man's heart is like deep water,  but a man of understanding will draw it out."

Everyone wants to be understood.  We all want people to know us, relate to us, and seek to understand our feelings, thoughts, and beliefs.  We all want a "man of understanding" in our lives.  One of the most loving things we can do for someone is to listen, ask why, and seek to understand.  Not only does it help us understand that person better, but it also helps them understand themselves better.  How much better of a teacher does it make someone when they know their students need to move, have written directions, and time to talk to their friends?  How much better of a husband does it make a man when he knows that his wife obsessively cleans when she's stressed or anxious about something?  How much better of a friend does it make someone when they know that you don't trust people of the opposite gender because you were abandoned by a parent or abused as a child?  Doesn't that help us to better love, serve, and care for those around us?  As a teacher you'd know that you weren't caring for your students by making them sit in their seats all day silently.  That husband would know that he's not caring for his wife by just letting her clean thinking that she's obsessive about mess instead of asking her what's stressing her out.  All by asking the simple question....why?

In my own life I've seen that by asking why I've learned so much about myself and my surroundings. In my classroom I've learned that one student needs a hug and affection each day because mom works nights and she never sees an older, nurturing female so she's simply craving that maternal affection from someone.  On campus I've learned that my one friend has trouble managing her time because she feels guilty from a past event and bites off more than she can chew sometimes.  I've learned that another friend has trouble with decision making because they truly don't believe that God is good and in control of the situation.

How much better does that equip us to help those around us?  Instead of tackling the symptom, we can go straight for the root of the problem!  Sin is so messy and one sin can have a myriad of symptoms.  The sin of pride can show up as taking on too much, not taking on enough, low self-esteem, boasting, self-doubt, and so much more.  So why do we tend to put a band-aid on something that requires surgery to remove?

Friends, there's so much more to each person than meets the eye.  How about instead of judging/assuming something, let's stop and ask ourselves why they're acting how they are.  Maybe they're lonely, had a family member pass away, are struggling with something huge, or more.  We don't know why everyone does what they do but friends, we can try to be a "man of understanding" to someone.

Who knows!?  You might just learn something about yourself in the process!

New Year, New Me?

Well... it's that time of the year again!  The time when everyone sits around the table, reflects on the past year, and vows to make this next year better than the last through a list of resolutions.  Great in theory, right?!  If people actually kept their resolutions, it'd be great!  However, we all know how this goes... People stick to their resolutions for about a month, and then slack off.  They'll pick back up right before summer in the hopes of making it the best summer ever and then by the time the 4th of July rolls around, the resolution bandwagon has been derailed yet again.  Then around Labor Day when the new school year/work year begins, we all vow that we will do whatever we need to in order to make this the best school year yet!  ...and then what happens?  That lasts until about Halloween until we all give up until Christmas when the cycle begins all over again.  Exhausting, right?

Let's face it, it's hard to stick to commitments sometimes.  It's hard to change.  It's hard to not let people down when they're counting on you.  We all struggle with it!  As there's nothing new under the sun (Ecc. 1:9), we can expect that people in biblical times struggled with this as well.  Take a look at the books of Judges, 1 Kings, 2 Kings and you'll see exactly what I mean.  It went something like this...

God:  Don't do the things

.Israel:  Okay God, we won't do the things!

-time passes- 

Israel:  God, we did the things...
God:  I told you not to do that!  -sends punishment-  Now, don't do the things again!

And repeat.  Again.  And again.  And again.  And again.  For hundreds of years.  They did what they thought was right in their own eyes and completely forgot about God.  When they forgot about God, they couldn't change.  They were stuck in a cycle of temporary faithfulness/faithlessness.  We, as we are just as broken and sinful as they are, can get stuck in the same cycle they did.  We do it year after year after year with broken new year's resolutions, broken promises, broken commitments.  We try to do it on our own but fail time after time.  So I think we can learn a little something from the temporary faithful people of Israel...

We can't change on our own.

We are a broken people full of sinful desires, selfish motives, and a wish to do things our own way and control our own lives.  We want to do what is right in our own eyes.  But, the bible tells us that we

"...are darkened in [our] understanding, alienated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in [us], due to [our] hardness of heart. [We] have become callous and have given [ourselves] up to sensuality, greedy to practice every kind of impurity." (Eph. 4:18-19, ESV)

Because of "the sin that so easily entangles" (Heb. 12:1) that naturally lives in us, we cannot make proper judgements on our own.  Our hearts are hard, calloused, greedy, and impure.  Pretty grim, right??

BUT THERE IS HOPE!!!

When Jesus Christ died on the cross some 2000 years ago, He took our sins, our shame, and our selfishness to the cross to give us hope for a new life.  He allowed us to be reconciled to our maker, Our Heavenly Father, the one true God and to trade the old life of shame, deceit, and selfishness for a life of hope, faith, and righteousness if we simply believe in Him and dedicate our lives to following Him.

"But that is not the way you learned Christ!—assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus, to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness." (Ephesians 4:20-24 ESV)

When we believe in Jesus, we can put off the old way, and put on the new righteousness.  He softens our calloused hearts giving us hearts turned to Him and His ways.  We are accepted, forgiven, and given means to change through His strength.  We can actually keep those New Year's Resolutions with His help!!  He can help us to change and become more like Him!

If you haven't accepted Christ as your Savior, make it your New Year's resolution to follow Him!  If you've already accepted Christ, make your New Year's resolution to be to honor and glorify Him more!

Here are my New Year's resolutions (please feel free to hold me accountable)!
1.  Memorize Scripture (Psalm 119:11)-  By memorizing Scripture I have it as a tool to fight off temptation, counsel others, and keep myself from sin.

2.  Read the Bible- How can I have a relationship with someone that I know nothing about?  By spending time with Him while reading the Bible, I can deepen my relationship with God and know my Maker even better!

3.  Honor God with my body (1 Corinthians 6:19-20)- My body is a gift from God, a temple of the Lord as He dwells in me.  I need to be sure to eat well, exercise, and dress in a way that glorifies God.  By not doing that, I'm dishonoring the Lord and not being a good example to those around me.

4.  Spend my money wisely (Luke 16:13-14)- I cannot serve two masters.  I don't want to serve money as my master, I want to serve God!  I want to use my money to glorify God and save and spend in a way that shows that.  I have a tendency to overspend and that will not help me in the long run!

5.  Love others well (Matthew 22:39)- I want to love others in a way that glorifies God!  I want to show others Christ's love whether they believe in Jesus or not.  I want Jesus to flow through me in a way that makes those that don't believe in Jesus question their belief in God!

Hold me accountable friends!  Ask me how my resolutions are going in a few weeks/months.  If you'd like to join me for one, let me know!  Resolutions are much easier to keep through prayer and a friend by your side!

What are your resolutions this year?  Is this the year when you accept Jesus?  If you haven't it should be!!  Welcome Jesus into your heart and make this year the best one yet!

Happy New Year y'all!

Danielle

Idolatry: A Warped View of True Love

Have you ever found yourself thinking about something (or someone) a little more than normal?  Have you found your mind wandering during class, on the bus, or when taking a stroll?  What's the reason you get out of bed in the morning?  Shower?  Go to work?  What is the motivation driving your life?  Is it the cute boy/girl down the hall?  Is it your boyfriend/girlfriend?  Family?  Kids?  Job?  Parents?  The desire to be successful?  The need to please someone?  Prove yourself?  What drives your life?

If I'm being truthful, mine changes with the seasons.  Some days it's the excitement of a weekend full of babysitting, some days it's the need to pay the bills and I have to work in a few hours.  Some days it's the cute boy in the fellowship or the fact that my best friend needs my advice on something.  Lately this has been exposed to me and it's been weighing heavily on my heart.  I don't want these things to be the driving force behind my life.  I don't want to be worshipping the cute guy, my job, the kids I babysit, my future plans, my friends, my status, etc.  I want to worship Christ alone.  After all, He is a jealous God and wants me fully.  

"...for you shall worship no other god, for the LORD, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God..."  (Exodus 34:14)

A few weeks ago someone I highly respect sat down with me and said he was concerned about something I said during our last conversation.  After talking with him for a bit he showed me how in everything I was saying or doing, I seemed to want to take the easy way out, do what came easily, or what would be least amount of work or stress for me as I've been contemplating career decisions post graduation.  This was just the start of God pointing out idols in my life.  God exposed what I was worshipping and how it was tearing me away from Him.  

The idols just kept being exposed... relationships/marriage, family, friends, success, money, leading, worship team, etc.  One by one God has been showing me how I've been placing my hope in everything but Him.  And, if I'm being honest, it's been hard to come to grips with.  But, although discipline is painful in the moment, it's super beneficial in the long run.  I love how it's stated in Hebrews 12:

Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted. In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons?

“My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him.For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.” 

It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. 

(Hebrews 12:3-11 ESV)

I have hope that even though this week has been painful and I've had to come to grips with things I don't want to, God's love shines through His discipline.  He wants me to have an intimate relationship with Him, He wants to be the only one I worship, etc. and because it's God speaking, I know that it's all for my best.  He has my best interest in mind so this discipline will lead to something good.  A father disciplines his son because he loves him and earthly fathers are designed to reflect our Heavenly Father so His discipline is because He loves us.

Thank you, Lord, for exposing these idols and helping me realize that my hope was elsewhere and guide me through the time ahead in getting my focus back on You and You alone.  Help me to spend time just sitting in your presence... no people, no distractions, just you and I Lord. 

Blessings friends, 

Dani

Patience in the Midst of the Mess

Hello again friends!  Happy summer!  Hope you're all enjoying the sunshine and showers that summer always brings!  For me, this summer looks very different from what I've grown to expect summer to look like.  This summer I am away from home for the majority of the summer living with a family from my church that I love dearly!  I talked about their story in my last blog post.  I'm now moved in and settling into the routine of the family and enjoying every minute of it!  But already, in 2 short days of living here, God has exposed a huge character flaw in my heart.... my impatience.  Now, impatience is something quite familiar to me as several of my family members struggle with being patient but it's never something I would have said that I struggle with.  I would've said that I was quite patient (in comparison to my family members) however... compared to Christ, I am so impatient and am grateful that He's starting to work on my heart in this area of struggle.  How has God exposed this struggle you may ask?  Well, let me share!

The first exposure of the struggle came last week when I was at a week long conference with my school's Christian fellowship learning about the "Unpredictable Mercy" of God!  What an amazing week it was.  By Wednesday though, I was emotionally wrecked but it wasn't until Friday that I realized why.  I wanted everyone in my life to change... to be perfect.  And I wanted it at that very second.  When I realized this, everything became clear and my view changed.  It opened my eye to my impatience and gave me eyes to see it more clearly in my life.  Which leads to where God has exposed my impatience most drastically... the boys I've been babysitting the past few days and will be babysitting on and off for the rest of the summer.  I've found myself getting quite short with them quickly and forgetting to extend them grace and mercy... especially considering all the change and chaos that they've been enduring these past 6 weeks.  I want them to behave, to obey, and to entertain themselves for hours on end... HA!  I know!  So silly and unrealistic!  I also think about the ladies I disciple on campus and how frustrated I get with them when they're unwilling to change or are so blind to sin in their life when it's so obvious!  I forget so easily that change is such a slow process and it takes a long time to identify sin in life, repent, seek counsel on how to change, and begin to change!  It takes a lot of time, energy, and patience to change and become more Christ-like.

So how have I begun to work on this?  Well... I've started with the boys.  When I find myself starting to get frustrated with them, I remind myself that they are only children and that it's going to take time for them to learn especially with all the change and chaos they've been enduring over the past few weeks.  God is so patient with me in my unwillingness to change, my rebellion, and my disobedience.  Because He has extended that patience, grace, and mercy to me in the midst of my sinful life, I have the freedom to extend it to others because of Christ's atoning sacrifice.  I can strive to be more like Christ in my interactions with others by showing them patience in speech and actions.  Will it be easy, not at all.  It's so hard... but Galatians 5:22 says that one of the fruits of the Spirit is patience so therefore the Holy Spirit is patient and because Christians have the Holy Spirit living inside them, we embody these characteristics to show Christ's love to those around us.  How awesome is that!?  In addition to that, reminding myself of the following scripture during moments of impatience can help me combat Satan's temptations to be impatient:

"Better is the end of a thing than its beginning, and the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit." (Ecc. 7:8)

"You also, be patient. Establish your hearts, for the coming of the Lord is at hand." (James 5:8)

"I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. (Ephesians 4:1-3)

Any one of those are great for combatting Satan when he chooses to tempt us through impatience.  So friends, join me in this battle against impatience and let's show the world Christ though our patience with each other and those around us!


~Dani

**Friends, will you also please keep the family I'm staying with in your prayers as they continue to try and balance time at the NICU with time at home and their daughter fights every minute for her life.  Thank you!**